Cats, guitars, baseball cards -
December 9th, 2018 (November 2018 newsletter)
As we conclude our seventh year this month, we want once again to say thanks for your support! We wouldn't have made it even two months without the support of our dealers and all our friends who have supported us through 84 shows. Thanks!
I will remind you, as I do every December, that if you've been in a coma or visiting other planets or just not paying attention, that Christmas is coming (the season officially opens the day after Labor Day). For the sports fans that may be on your list, our show is loaded with present-type stuff both big and small.
If you can't make it to the show, let us wish you Season's Greetings, Joyous Chanuka, Happy Kwanzaa, Rocking Jane Addams Day (12/10), exciting Crossword Puzzle Day (12/21), grin-and-bear-it-your-Mother-in-Law's birthday, and, of course, Merry Christmas!
In sports news, well, there was a college football game played in our Commonwealth last month. I won't talk about the game, except to say three things: one, does the number "fifteen" strike a familiar note; two, thanks a lot, Bryce, for the "butt fumble" that lost the game; and, three, hahahahahahaha!
In other college football news, it's "bowl" time in the NCAA. There will be a total of forty team bowls (not including the "all-star" games), including such as (and you guess which ones I'm making up) the "Cheez-It Bowl", the "New Mexico Bowl", the "Chock-Full-O-Nuts Bowl", the "Bad Boys Mowers Gasparilla Bowl", the "Bad Girls We Can So Do Math Bowl", the "North Pole Bowl", and my perennial favorite, the "Famous Idaho Potato Bowl", which is played in the forsaken wilderness of Boise, Idaho. Virginia Tech somehow squeaked into the Military Bowl, which of course we remember from last year's 49-7 game - no names please.
In the NFL, Kareem Hunt was fired from the Kansas City Chiefs after video surfaced of him beating and kicking a woman. He is, of course, "undergoing counseling", bless his heart, but I'm wondering why we don't see him being led away in handcuffs for a long prison stay. Oh, my sources report that maybe she called him a bad word. Well, my apologies, Kareem - I'm just sorry you didn't have a gun handy. The NFL cracks down on all kinds of repugnant misbehavior, of course. Zeke Elliot was fined for celebrating a touchdown by throwing money and Dak Prescott into a red kettle set up in the end zone to promote the Salvation Army. Roger Goodell was quoted as saying, "Next time throw Jerry Jones in there, and we'll overlook it".
Speaking of football - something that's been rattling around in my brain - wait! Don't run away! - since I was watching some game last weekend. When an offensive lineman moves before the ball is "snapped", it's called a "false start". In truth, however, it's a "REAL start", just not a legal one. Change the name, rules makers! Maybe "premature embarkation" or "look around and ask yourself why nobody else is moving, dumbbell".
In Major League Baseball, one of my very most favorite players (hahahahaha!), Yasiel Puig, is reportedly unhappy with the Dodgers, and he may be on the "trading block". I guess it's too much to hope for that he'll be traded to the Hokkaido Nippon-Ham Fighters.
In other MLB news, some guys were traded for some other guys, and some "free agents" (they are, of course, not "free", but VERY expensive) were signed, and other stuff like that. If you're really interested, sign up for the MLB network or check the very tiny print on the back page of your local newspaper's sports section.
In NASCAR, Joey Logano won the "Monster Energy NASCAR Cup", a result which I'm sure pleased no one except Joey and maybe his mother. During the year Harvick and Busch (Kyle) each won eight races, while Truex won four. Joey won exactly three, and yet he's the champion.
This one surprises me a little. What organization is known as "the oldest continuously run professional football team in the United States"? (see answer below)
I'm sure you remember the "Black Swamp Find" from 2012 - a whole mess of E98 baseball cards that were found by folks who were cleaning out a relative's stuff. I believe they were on display at the 2012 National in Baltimore. A near set (25 of 30) graded by SGC were being offered at auction by Goldin (sale ended yesterday). It sold for $171,850. At least 21 of the 25 are graded SGC Mint 9 or better. In other news, vintage cards with fake autographs are turning up, both T206s and Goudeys. Although it's not a perfect solution, I guess the best we can do if you see one of these is to be sure it's reputably graded.
Roman Emperor Nero. He once postponed the Olympic games for two years so he could practice being a chariot racer. Unfortunately, it didn't help. In the actual event he twice fell out of his chariot and did NOT finish the race. Yet somehow the officials awarded him the medal, possibly because he threatened to play his fiddle again, or maybe cash payments were involved. It's nice to know Olympic cheating didn't start just recently. Nero was quoted as saying "It's good to be the big Cheese".
(Following up what is a recurring theme in this column)
North Carolina football coach Carl Torbush: "I can promise you if we'd been 4-1 after those first 5 games, we wouldn't have ended up 3-8."
Hockey coach Tom Watt: "Better teams win more often than the teams that are not so good."
December 27 is "Howdy Doody Day", for celebrating a certain character that those of us who were born in the distant past may remember (and no smirking "he said doody"); December 8 is (and, again, I'm not making this up) "National Day of Lard", which I believe is celebrated jointly with "National Cholesterol Day"; and finally, December 12 is "National Ding-a-Ling Day", which, if you're a Chuck Berry fan, is NOT what you're thinking.
The Cardinals, currently based in Arizona, were formed in Chicago in 1898 as the Morgan Athletic Club. They joined the NFL as a charter member in 1920 as the Chicago Cardinals. (Bonus credit if you know the only other charter member team that is still active - the Chicago Bears. If you said the Packers, good try, but they joined in 1921.) They moved to St. Louis in 1960 where they played through 1987. They moved to Arizona in 1988.
January 8, 2019 (December 2018 newsletter)
A note for those who may have missed the news: We have signed up for another year at Tanglewood, starting this month. The shows are scheduled as usual for the third Saturday of each month. The entire schedule is listed below. This will be our eighth year of doing this thing, and we hope you all can join us for most if not all of the shows.
Here's hoping each of you had a joyous and safe holiday season. I know I did. I hope each of you didn't gain more than, oh, twenty pounds or so during this time. If so, keep that resolution to attend the gym regularly - hahahahaha! (See holiday section below) You may have seen my post on our FB page about one of the Christmas presents I got from my wife - the 1957 Milwaukee Braves yearbook which completed my collection of all thirteen years they were in Milwaukee. Yes, millennials, the Braves were in Milwaukee after they left Boston and before they moved to Atlanta. Uh, yeah, they started out in Boston.
In sports news, there's the college football football championship game tonight. I'm hoping but not expecting that Clemson will win. The Clemson head coach is Dabo Swinney, apparently pronounced for some reason as "Dabbo Sweeney". "Dabo" is kind of a dopey name, but reportedly he was given it as an infant by his parents so we can't blame him. The Alabama coach is Nicholas Saban, or as he is known in Tuscaloosa, "Saint Nick". Whoa, Nellie! Later (next day) update: What a surprise!
In other college football news, the big contest in Louisiana was another one-sided affair. Of course, I'm talking about the Texas mascot, "Bevo" the steer, taking on "Uga", the Georgia bulldog mascot. It was clearly no contest as "Uga" was seriously outweighed as "Bevo" weighs 1800 pounds, or about the same as three NFL offensive tackles. This reminds me of my April 5th. 2017, newsletter where I reported that in 1920, UT, then suffering financial problems, slaughtered the mascot and served him/her at the annual sports banquet. True story.
In other happy NCAA "amateur" sports news, there are reports that "powerful UCLA boosters" want Rick Pitino hired as the new UCLA coach. Just goes to prove that old adage that "you can't keep a bad man down". On the other hand, Larry Brown was fired last month as coach of the Italian club Fiat Torino (I believe they are the "Pasta Fazools"), apparently just because the team was bad and not (unlike most of his previous jobs) because of rule violations of various kinds.
The NFL playoffs are full speed ahead. The Eagles beat the Bears yesterday when the Bears' field goal kicker pulled a potential game-winning attempt that apparently bounced off everything including the upright, the crossbar, the referee's head and the sky cam before falling harmlessly and pointlessly to the ground. How long before the kid gets fired? I happened to watch the last few minutes of this game, which was all the NFL I watched. So if you want to know anything about the other games you'll have to look it up yourself. Late update: the NFL has changed the missed kick to a "blocked" kick, because it appears that an Eagle got a fingernail on it.
In Major League Baseball, the offseason is really heating up personnel-wise. For example, the Mets traded catcher Kevin Plawecki, if I've got that right, to Cleveland for a pitcher you never heard of and a minor leaguer you never will hear of. If that don't get you fired up, then nothing will! Meanwhile, those other two guys, whose names I won't mention, because if you watch as much MLB channel as I do, you're probably sick of hearing them - now, I'll try to get back to whatever I was going to say. Oh, yeah, they still haven't signed and the whole baseball world is holding their breath.
Regarding soccer (or "futbol"), I know I promised two months ago to give a full report on the "Copa Libertadores" tournament in South America. The final had to be moved to Spain because of the rowdy fans of one team or the other, who apparently made WVU fans on Free Beer Day look almost normal. I think the officials were afraid the term "shootout" might take on a whole different sinister meaning. The game or "match" was won by River Plate over the Boca Juniors by the reported score of 5-3 (I'm having my staff re-check that score because clearly 8 points or "goals" in a soccer match is highly suspicious).
Everybody knows that William Howard Taft was the first U.S. President to throw the ceremonial first pitch at a major league baseball game (the fattest man to throw a pitch until Bartolo Colon came along). But who was the first President to actually throw the first pitch from the mound? (see answer below)
For an all-time great rant and excuse for losing: Zambian tennis player Lighton Ndefwayl lost a match in 1992. In explaining his defeat, he claimed that his opponent "is a stupid man and a hopeless player. He has a huge nose and is cross-eyed. Girls hate him. He beat me because my jockstrap was too tight and because when he serves, he farts, and that made me lose my concentration, for which I am famous throughout Zambia." I think this is noteworthy because, first, like you, I had no idea they play tennis in Zambia, wherever that is, and, second, I wish we could see more of this kind of honest, constructive criticism among American athletes when they lose.
Let's talk about "egg tapping", which is known by various other names such as "egg fighting", "egg knocking" and more. It is a traditional sport in (wait for it) England, although to be fair it also is reportedly played in some parts of our own country. The sport consists of two players who each have a hard-boiled egg. They then tap the ends of their eggs together in an attempt to break the opponent's shell without cracking their own. There has reportedly been a history of cheating by using eggs with "cement, alabaster and even marble cores". I can't find any reference to PEDs, but you can be sure somewhere sometime they've been used, possibly on the chickens if not the players. I also haven't seen this sport YET on ESPN. I assume if they run out of axe-throwing and corn-hole championships, they may give egg tapping the notoriety it obviously deserves.
Very expensive but failed Oakland Raiders coach Jon Gruden: "Anything goes on any given Sunday - especially on Monday night".
Succinctly summing up the thrill of soccer ("futbol"), soccer commentator Ron Atkinson: "Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw".
January is "National Learn to Ski and Snowboard Month", which I believe is followed next month by "Get to Know Your Orthopedic Surgeon Month". This is also "National Oatmeal Month", celebrating that wonderful food which, after you put in all the sugar, milk, butter, and fruit, is still something you wouldn't feed to your dog. January 8th is "Show and Tell Day at Work" - just be careful what you "show" and "tell", because the rules have changed. January is "National Kazoo Day" - nobody EVER said, "hey, we're having a party, bring your kazoo!". And, of course, January 1st, New Year's Day, is the day we all make what are laughingly referred to as New Year's "Resolutions", where we "resolve" to make ourselves and the world better. Don't worry if you forgot to make your resolutions, because, like everybody else, you would have broken them by now anyway.
George H. W. Bush was the first. He is, by the way, the only U.S. President who ever played in the College World Series - twice! These tidbits are courtesy of Baseball America.
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