Woody's World - Cats, guitars and sports cards

Sports Collectible Show - Newsletter History

April 10, 2020 (April 2020 Newsletter)

Hello again. There's not much to talk about, especially in the sports world, as most of the news is about the pandemic and its effects on us individually and as a society. I'm not going to dwell on that because we've all heard and seen all the same news, both true and untrue. I think it's important, however, that keeping "social distance" should not mean losing contact with other folks and other things that may be important to us. We all are giving up much in our lives: there may be sickness in your family, you may have lost a job or income, we've all given up dining out or watching sports or going to the gym. Way down on this list may be sports collectibles or the occasional memorabilia show. Nevertheless, as long as I'm able to do so, I'll keep this newsletter going in the hope that it provides a small break from the real world.

For the first time in our 8+ years of doing this show at Tanglewood, we had to cancel a show. Since the Governor has issued a stay-at-home order and since Tanglewood is closed, I don't see how there will be a show this month and probably not next month. We can only wait and see what the future brings.

On television there are sports for viewing. Of course, they are football games from 2016 or golf matches from 1986. In other words, "classic" sports moments from the past. If watching golf repeats doesn't get you excited enough, I see there are also pro bowling reruns for your viewing pleasure. There is at least one real sporting event you can watch. There is actual NASCAR racing. It has real NASCAR drivers competing on real NASCAR tracks. Of course, they are competing in a video game. I believe it has all the excitement of watching a kid play PacMan. The NBA, of course, also has a video game tournament going on. What thrills! I suspect it has less defense than their live all-star game.

There is some "real sports" going on. The UFC has a live program although without spectators. I guess it's good they spared the "fans" of this sport from risking the coronavirus, although clearly they don't care much about the participants. Since the purpose of the "sport" (as far as I can tell) seems to be for one person to kill his or her opponent, I suppose death by disease is no big deal. Update: it appears that the show scheduled for this month has been canceled or postponed, not because the UFC wanted to, but because ESPN thought it was not a good idea. Also, the Belarusian Premier League is reportedly the only country in Europe where live soccer ("futbol"), or as live as soccer gets, is still being played. At least one team there is filling the mostly empty seats with dummies. This is in addition to the few live dummies who are in attendance. My staff have been unable to find if the games are on TV - perhaps on the internet?

And the NFL draft is coming up. I think ESPN has 24-hour coverage of who should draft Tua or not ("his injuries! his talent! his impossible-to-spell name!"). And why, oh, why did Tom Brady leave New England? Tom, by the way, is (seriously) reportedly seeking trademarks for "Tompa Bay" and "Tampa Brady".

Among events not happening is the Masters ("an event like no other", they say, to which I always reply "so is Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest"). Those sad pictures of the trees, flowers and water on the empty Augusta National remind me that watching golf is, I must say, slightly less boring than watching "not golf".

In sad news, one of the greatest Detroit Tigers, Al Kaline, died earlier this week. He was a personal favorite of mine, way back when, and I'm sure many of you remember him. Also, Bobby Mitchell, HOF halfback for Cleveland and Washington, died this past Sunday. When he retired Mitchell ranked second all-time with 14,078 all-purpose yards. He was the first African American player for Washington.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW.

Colt Brennan was, I believe, the greatest quarterback in the history of the University of Hawaii, which I admit is not saying much. He was drafted in the sixth round of the 2008 NFL draft by Washington, making him yet another in the long line of failed Washington QBs. He was released without appearing in a single regular season game for them, and in several seasons with other teams he had a total of one completion in one game for fourteen yards. He found equal success with stints in the UFL, the CFL and the AFL (Arena Football League). Over the years since then, he has been arrested several times for DUI. We can't find a report for what he's been up to lately, except for drinking, but perhaps the XFL will call.

TRIVIA QUESTION.

Here's another baseball question for you. Several major league pitchers have won both Rookie of the Year and Cy Young awards. Who is the only pitcher who won both in the same year? (Answer below)

COLLECTING NEWS.

Regular readers of this letter may have noticed that I often feature vintage cards that are up for auction and are in top-notch condition. I'm impressed by old things that have held up well. Such an item is a 1941 Play Ball Joe DiMaggio PSA 10 that sold for $750,000.

On a personal note, I sent two 2018-19 Donruss Optic "Shock" cards of Luca to BGS. One came back a 9.5 and the other a somewhat disappointing 8.5 (9.5 on everything except surface 7.5). I may keep the 9.5 and sometime try to sell the 8.5.

Six Al Kaline cards to remember "Mr. Tiger" by. Click here.

Here's an interesting article from Sports Collectors Daily about baseball cards from the 1920's. Click here.

Here's an item we'd all like to have. Grey Flannel Auctions will offer Joe Namath's rookie jersey at an auction scheduled to begin May 25th. There's no report on the expected sale price, but they anticipate that "it is likely to set an industry record".

Beckett Grading is reportedly back in business but with reduced staff and not much guarantee about turnaround time.

UNSUNG SPORTS HEROES.

Watch out! There's a woman on the course!

In 1971 Hale Irwin mis-hit his tee shot, and the ball struck a woman spectator. She was not hurt, but the ball landed down her blouse. PGA officials, after huddling for some time, and presumably closely inspecting the lie, ruled that it was an unplayable lie and awarded Irwin a free drop. Thousands of TV viewers were disappointed.

A man in Houston was awarded $16,500 in damages from his local club because he ruptured his Achilles tendon during a club tournament. Seems he was assigned an "exotic dancer" to be his cart driver and caddy. The "lady" apparently had enough to drink that she became inebriated, and she crashed the cart into a drainage canal. This, minus the exotic dancer, is an experience many of us have had playing golf.

Finally, two women were playing for a club championship in 1980, and they were tied for the lead. One of them took a practice swing and clunked the other one on her arm. The sound you heard was the clunk-ee's arm breaking. Since she couldn't continue playing (all together now: "WIMP!"), the clunk-er was declared the winner by default. That is strategy to remember when money's on the line, golfers!

OUT OF THE MAINSTREAM SPORTS.

In efforts to try ANYTHING to put a little excitement into soccer ("futbol"), various games have been designed to boot a ball around while riding on two-wheeled vehicles. These include, for example, "cycleball", played on bicycles (click here), and "motoball" or soccer on motorcycles (click here). And then there's "RoboCup" which is played in Japan and other places by actual robots (click here- this REALLY speeds up the game!). There are of course lots of other variations, including flaming coconut soccer we discussed in an earlier newsletter. You decide if soccer ("futbol") is improved by any of these.

CLASSIC SPORTS QUOTES.

Today let's go into the world of boxing.

Mike Tyson, after losing to Lennox Lewis: "I don't know, man. I guess I'm gonna fade into bolivian".

Mike Tyson: "He called me a rapist and a recluse. I'm not a recluse."

George Foreman: "The referee is the most important man in the ring besides the two fighters."

Alan Minter (whoever he is or was): "Sure, there have been injuries and even some deaths in boxing - but none of them really that serious."

HOLIDAYS.

April is "Alcohol Awareness Month" - in these stay-at-home times I'll bet a lot of us are more aware of alcohol than we've ever been before; April 12-18 is "World Hula Week" - so come on guys, put on your grass skirts and your coconut shell bras and get to dancing; the 5th was "Geologists Day", for those people who dig the ground the most; the 14th is "national Gardening Day", for those OTHER people who dig the ground the most; the 30th is "Bugs Bunny Day", which we celebrate by endlessly pestering a bald-headed, lisping hunter, all while munching a carrot; the 18th is "Record Store Day", when you will race to your chosen record store and buy those Anne Murray albums you always wanted, if only there was an actual record store in your same time zone; the 8th is"Trading Cards for Grownups Day", which sounds like the silliest holiday I've ever celebrated here; finally, this month brings that holiest of holy days, "April Fool's Day". As I've reported before, I walk around that entire day with my shoes untied so I don't fall for that one.

TRIVIA ANSWER.

In 1981 Fernando Valenzuela of the Dodgers won both the ROY and the Cy Young. He had a 13-7 record, 2.48 ERA, 11 complete games eight of which were shutouts in 192.1 innings pitched.

ERRATA.

Don't think we made any errors today. Let me know if we missed any.

SHOW REPORTS.

Last month's show.

Well, you know what happened last month. Or what DIDN'T happen.

This month's show.

The April show was scheduled for April 18th. I think it's safe to say it will not happen.

May 12, 2020 (May 2020 newsletter)

Hello again. Hope everybody is safe and healthy. We do want you back again when this trying time is finally behind us. Speaking of which, of course there was no Tanglewood show in April, and I assume there will not be one this month, since as far as I know Tanglewood Mall is still closed. And even if it reopens soon there will still be, I'm sure, a rule against large crowds gathering anywhere. We are not alone - I see that the National, scheduled for this July has been postponed at least until December. (The facility where the National was to be held is now an emergency medical center.)

We are, of course, almost completely without any live sports to enjoy. I don't want to ignore Korean baseball, which I'm sure you're eagerly staying up all night to watch. Interesting that the Korean baseball league demoted an entire crew of umpires to the minor leagues because of player complaints about the umps' inconsistent strike zones - can't see that happening in MLB.

And of course NASCAR is about to have seven races in eleven days, or perhaps that's eleven races in seven days - always assuming not too many people get sick and die from the first race. I believe the TV networks normally take about one thousand workers (seriously) to run the TV broadcast - cable layers, camera operators, directors, producers, the on-air "talent", cocaine suppliers, girl friends and I don't know who else. It will be interesting to see what they can get by with.

And I believe there's some soccer league in some far-flung European country that's going to resume playing in front of empty stadiums.

There is sports news, certainly. ESPN couldn't keep fourteen channels going twenty-four hours every day without news. For example, they spent, by my count, 7,925 hours leading up to the NFL draft talking about it - not counting Todd McShay and Mel Kiper (that's Junior, in case you can't keep all the Mel Kipers straight), who did their first 2020 "mock drafts", I believe, in 2016 - three solid days reporting on it while it was happening, and another 4,157 hours and counting analyzing it since then. Joe Burrow was picked number 1, which everybody in the world knew was going to happen. It's like happily anticipating reading that new mystery novel when somebody tells you "Oh, the butler did it". I'd like to say that I watched every minute of this broadcasting, but I suspect you would know that would be one of the biggest lies I've ever told here.

ESPN is keeping us amused with a mini-series called "The Last Dance". This is NOT to be confused with "The Last Waltz", a film by The Band, which I might actually have watched. No, this is about Michael Jordan. It is, I think, ten 1-hour episodes. Personally, ten hours of Michael Jordan is a little too much for me. Ten seconds of Michael Jordan would be too much for me. I suppose if you're starved for sports, this could work for you. Give me "Green Acres" on ME-tv.

Unfortunately, the Scripps National Spelling Bee has been canceled. Spell me "d-i-s-a-p-p-o-i-n-t-e-d".

Scheduled for May 24th is the big golf match with Tom ("I'm taking my talents to Tampa Bay") Brady, Peyton "Sure, my insurance ads are boring, but they pay well") Manning, Phil ("I'm NOT old") Mickelson and Eldrick Tont ("Tiger") Woods. Wow! At least two of my all-time favorite "athletes" - you know who they are - playing one of my all-time favorite spectator sports! I'll be watching! Hahahahahaha!

Let's see what other "sports" you might find on TV. I saw there was an "Ultimate Disk" contest on one of the high-number cable channels. I assume this is something like rugby with a Frisbee. Also, I think you can usually find a "Corn Hole" tournament somewhere. And as I mentioned last month, I think, there's "PBA bowling" available. For all I know, there's Putt-Putt, lawn darts or snail racing on somewhere. So who needs the NFL, NBA or MLB?

WHERE ARE THEY NOW.

Chris Washburn played basketball for Jim Valvano at NC State. He was drafted number 3 overall in 1986 by the Golden State Warriors. Sadly, like so many other athletes, he wasted all his money and failed three drug tests in three years. He played just 72 games in the NBA. He reportedly wound up destitute and homeless in Houston, although he eventually kicked his drug habit. He and his girlfriend started a "fried chicken business" but it failed in a couple of years. No word on him since an arrest (for not paying at a gas station) in 2014. Note that the Warriors could have drafted Dell Curry, Dennis Rodman, Chuck Person and Mark Price, among many others. Fortunately for them they didn't get a chance at the player who was drafted #2: Len Bias.

TRIVIA QUESTION.

What sport features a "hooker in a scrum"? Hint - it's NOT the University of Louisville basketball team. (Answer below) Speaking of the U of L, have you ever looked closely at their logo or mascot? Here's a pic: U of L mascot

My gosh! Look at that sucker! He's got a mouthful of teeth! Doesn't look like the cardinals that come to our bird feeder.

COLLECTING NEWS.

Many new products that were scheduled for release in April were postponed due to printing facilities having to shut down. It's reported that production may be resuming for Panini and Topps. Bowman Baseball may be released late this month. Panini has a number of products that may be released this month. All of this may change due to unforeseen circumstances.

I noted in March that a very rare Joe Jackson 1910 T-210 was to be auctioned. It sold for $492,000.

In the world of prospectors, a 2019 Bowman Chrome Red Refractor #5/5 of Wander Franco recently sold in an online auction for $55,990. Wonder what it will be worth in, say, five years? For slightly less total dollars than that, the buyer could have had a 1948 Leaf Satchel Paige (PSA5) AND a 1922 E121 American Caramel Babe Ruth (SGC2). Wonder what THEY'LL be worth in five years?

Panini recently reported that they would no longer honor expired redemption cards. They have apparently walked that back somewhat and said that they WOULD honor those expired redemptions, at least with "something", if the original card is not available.

Kevin Durant donated his 2006-07 NCAA Player of the Year trophy to an auction to benefit Covid-19 relief efforts. The winner got not only the trophy, but an all expenses paid trip for two to New York, courtside seats at a Knicks game (second prize was FOUR tickets to a Knicks game - hahahaha! old joke), and dinner with Kevin. The package reportedly sold for $110,000. Wow! Roughly the price of TWO Wander Franco cards!

In other coronavirus relief efforts, Richard Childress has offered up for auction an original number 3 Chevrolet car - a real NASCAR car - driven by Dale Earnhardt. The auction is due to end this Saturday. If you'd like to bid, click here) for more info.

UNSUNG SPORTS HEROES.

Some football teams tout their "twelfth man", by which they mean their enthusiastic supporters. They'd have to go some to match this guy. During the 1908 game between Tennessee and Georgia, with Georgia on the Vols 2-yard line and threatening to score, a drunken Tennessee fan (if there's any other kind) stormed onto the field with a .38 revolver and threatened to shoot the next Bulldog who crossed the goal line. Although police dragged the man away, Georgia fumbled on the next play and wound up losing 10-0. Although we here at TSCS don't recommend this sort of behavior, we certainly wonder if some sporting events couldn't be improved in this way. Imagine if once during, let's say, a Tampa Bay football game, a person was allowed to run onto the field and threaten Tom ("Used to be Terrific") Brady with a poker. I'd watch that.

OUT OF THE MAINSTREAM SPORTS.

You may remember "Tiddlywinks" as a game you played as a little kid, where you tried to propel a small disk to a target by clicking it on its edge with another disk. Well, just like Trix cereal, tiddlywinks is (are?) not just for kids any more. Now there are organizations, such as The North American Tiddlywinks Association (NATW) and others, sophisticated rules, championships and Guinness world records. The "sport" was allegedly invented in (wait for it!) England in the 1950's. Here's a brief video sample: click here). Although it's only two minutes long, watching it seems like two hours - kind of like watching golf. You recall that I discussed grown-up tag last month. I'm now searching for reports of other childhood games, such as "jack rocks" or "hopscotch", to see if they've been adultified. Perhaps I'll see the game we played called "Cowboys and Indians", where we ran around with our "cap" pistols and pretended to shoot the other guys. Of course today the name would have to be changed, perhaps to "Democrats and Republicans".

CLASSIC SPORTS QUOTES.

Normally we present quotes that are totally off the wall. Today, however, we give you quotes that are funny but actually make sense.

Jack Benny: "Give me fresh air, a beautiful partner, and a nice round of golf ... and you can keep the fresh air and the nice round of golf".

P.G. Wodehouse (one of my literary heroes) with a true observation about golfers: "The least thing upsets him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of butterflies in the adjoining meadows".

Phyllis Diller: "The reason the pro tells you to keep your head down is so you can't see him laughing".

Dave Barry (another of my literary heroes): "If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life, she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base".

HOLIDAYS.

Hope you didn't miss May 1st which was "Tuba Day" - nobody ever said "Hey, we're having a party, bring your tuba" (I'm going to use that line forever); the 2nd was "Kentucky Derby Day", which we usually make fun of, but we'll have to wait until September now; the 8th was "No Socks Day", which, if you're isolating by yourself, is easy to celebrate - heck, you can celebrate "No Pants Day" if you want to; the 14th is "National Chicken Dance Day", which, if you're really bored in isolation, you can celebrate by, well, dancing like a chicken - just make it up as you go - nobody's watching; the 11th is "Eat What You Want Day", or, for those who are isolated, it may be "Eat Whatever Crap You Have In The House Day". Finally, and seriously, May 6-12 is "National Nurses Week". In the last 27 years I've been in more Doctor's offices, emergency rooms and hospitals than I can list. I want to thank all the nurses I've encountered in that time and also especially those that are now in the front lines of the Covid-19 battle. And not only the nurses, but the doctors, the aides, the technicians, the emergency workers and everybody else helping to fight this battle.

TRIVIA ANSWER.

The "hooker in a scrum" is a rugby term. As we've discussed in these pages before, when play in rugby stops, all the players pile onto the ball, and eventually it squirts out of the pile like somebody spitting out a watermelon seed. This is called a "scrum". The "hooker" hooks the ball backwards through the pile so that it does the above-mentioned squirting-out.

ERRATA.

Don't think we made any errors today. Let me know if we missed any.

SHOW REPORTS.

Last month's show.

What happened at the April show was exactly the same as what happened at the March show. I don't have to tell you.

June 7, 2020 (June 2020 newsletter)

Hello again. It's now been over three months since last we all gathered at the mall. Hope everybody is safe and healthy. I assume you've all heard by now that Tanglewood is permitting us to have our June show. It will be on the scheduled date June 20. Remember that there are still two weeks before that day, and the situation could change for any number of reasons. We will keep you informed by this newsletter mailing list and on our Facebook page (here).

Professional sports are making plans to resume playing. NASCAR has already had several races without fans in the stands. You may wonder how this differs from before the pandemic. The NFL is opening training facilities to coaching staffs for those that have the permission of local and state authorities, although players are not yet allowed to be there. Their regular season is scheduled to kick off on September 10th. The NBA is scheduling some sort of weird playoff thing, with a few season-ending regular season games, then a 22-team playoff. I would give you the details, but, frankly, I don't understand them, and besides, they're still revising them. In baseball the players and management are arguing over how many games might be played and how much money the players have to give up. The two sides are not close with the union asking for about $2.7 billion and the owners proposing about $950 million. The NHL ... well, who cares?

In semi-professional sports, college football is up in the air as apparently every school has its own ideas about how practice and play should be resumed. The PGA is returning this week with the Colonial tournament in Texas. Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods will not be there, so nobody will be watching. The MLS ("Major League Soccer") soccer league had started its 2020 season in February but suspended it in March. The league plans to have all 26 teams (Betcha can't name 'em all!) meet in Orlando late this month for a made-for-TV tournament. Of course I plan to watch if it's not scheduled at the same time as the National Corn Hole Championships.

In other exciting news, harness racing will be the first sport back in Illinois. That's the "sport" where the horses pull little two-wheel carts around the track with the driver hunched down in the seat. It's pretty much the same as the chariot race in "Ben Hur" except without Charlton Heston, the crashes, the spectators being run over, the spikes on the wheels and the whips. Pretty much the same. I can think of a number of sports that could be improved by the addition of those Ben Hur extras - bowling, curling, synchronized swimming, for example - except maybe not Charlton Heston, as my staff report that he is likely still dead.

In the NBA, apparently Vince Carter is finally retiring. Vince has been in the league a while. His first game in the league he had to guard Bob Cousy. He mentioned that Oscar Robertson was the toughest player he ever faced. Reportedly he can still dunk, and I don't mean a donut into a cup of coffee.

In the "How Rich Are YOU" news, here's a video of Michael Jordan's beautiful $80 million yacht (here) - bet it's bigger than yours. Regular readers of this newsletter are well aware that Jordan is not on my personal list of all-time favorite athletes. I must admit, however, that his charitable nature is remarkable. Over the years he has opened a clinic in Charlotte for the uninsured and underinsured; given $500,000 to Habitat for Humanity for Katrina relief; donated "multi-million dollars" to Friends of the Children in Charlotte; gave $2,000,000 to Hurricane Florence relief aid; and many others. He with his "Jordan Brand" has just pledged $100,000,000 over the next ten years to anti-racist organizations. I applaud his altruistic side. Does it make me want to watch "The Last Dance"? No.

Finally, unrelated to anything else here - just a fascinating and remarkable picture of Lou Gehrig and Joe DiMaggio - and really kind of sad. Click here.

WHERE ARE THEY NOW.

Lenny Dykstra was an outfielder with the Mets and Phillies in the 1980's and 1990's. He was described variously as a "spark plug" and "scrappy", and he acquired the nickname "Nails". He was a fairly successful player, and he was a fan favorite in New York and Philadelphia. Unfortunately, his post-playing career has not gone so well. He was named in the 2007 Mitchell Report as a big-time PED user during his career. He filed for bankruptcy in 2009. In 2011 alone, he was charged with bankruptcy fraud, grand theft, cocaine possession and indecent exposure. He also apparently hired an "adult entertainment escort", then bounced a $1000 check to pay her. He spent several months in jail. Then in 2018 he was arrested for making "terroristic" threats and drug possession. All of this is prelude to his latest story. He sued Ron Darling for libel and defamation because Darling had written that Lenny had made racist comments to another player way back in 1986. The judge threw out the suit, saying Dykstra's reputation is already so "tarnished that it cannot be further injured". Oh, snap!

TRIVIA QUESTION.

Okay, you call yourselves football fans. Then answer this: What university originated the "huddle"? (Answer below)

COLLECTING NEWS.

A man found and bought some 1995 Action Packed autographed cards, which included signatures of Bill Russell, Bill Walton, Jerry Lucas, and many others. There were 93 of the Russell cards alone. For more info, click here.

A PSA10 2009 Bowman Chrome Mike Trout orange refractor auto #25 is coming to auction soon at Golding Auctions. If you're interested in bidding, be sure your bank account reaches up into the six figures!

In May 1980 the AA minor league Charlotte O's were giving away a promotional set of team cards at the game. For unknown reasons, probably just sparse attendance, few of the sets were given out. The rest were dumped into the trash. Why does it matter? Because the set included the first card of Cal Ripken Jr.
Ripken first card

Topps Update baseball this year will include a 30-card insert set featuring the number 1-rated prospect for each MLB team.

UNSUNG SPORTS HEROES.

Today we celebrate some forgotten fans who supported their team or player in remarkable ways.

During a 2011 golf tournament, a spectator threw a hot dog onto the green in front of "Tiger" Woods. He said he was inspired by the movie "Drive" with which I am totally unfamiliar. "Tiger" missed his putt. This unnamed fan should immediately be honored with a slot in the Golf Hall of Fame (if there is such a thing). He is MY new hero.

During a 2008 SF Giants game, a fan, to protest Barry "Great Big Old Head" Bonds' "alleged" PED use, threw a syringe onto the field. Bonds picked up the syringe and quietly added it to his collection.

In the 2015 Giro d'Italia bike race, a spectator went over the fence to take a photo of the action. The result was a massive pileup as racers tried to dodge the fan. Many of the riders were injured badly enough to have to quit the race. Let's be honest here - the only reason YOU'D watch a bicycle race is for the crashes. Sort of like NASCAR.

In 2006 a man refused to remove his Dodger cap during a Saginaw, Michigan city council meeting. He said that to him the cap was like "his crown". After becoming "disruptive" he was tasered by police. Who among you would support your team to this extent?

OUT OF THE MAINSTREAM SPORTS.

In this space we have previously covered such thrilling sports as cheese racing, wife carrying, man-vs-horse racing, snail racing and many other similar fast-moving action events. I come to you today with an Australian event that surely rivals them all and challenges even - dare I say it? - golf as a thrilling spectator sport. Yes, it's the "Great Huron Apple Race", where contestants toss apples off a bridge into a stream and wait to see whose apple crosses the finish line first. Australia, of course, is famous as the home of kangaroos and thousands of creatures that can kill you almost with just a look. It also is famous for having been populated by criminals evicted from England, at least those they didn't send to Georgia. The course is 300 meters long, which is European-speak for something a little longer than your foot and a little shorter than I-95. Whatever. It seems a "clean" sport, with not a hint of PEDs, at least not in the apples. I believe the winning apple is bronzed and put on display somewhere, while the losers are unceremoniously baked into pies (which nobody will eat, because, after all, the apples WERE in the river).

CLASSIC SPORTS QUOTES.

Tennis commentator Fred Perry: "McEnroe has got to sit down and work out where he stands."

Cricket announcer Michael Abrahamson: "A very small crowd here today. I can count the people on one hand. Can't be more than thirty."

Basketball coach Norm Sloan on zone defense: "I hate it. It looks like a stickup at 7-Eleven. Five guys standing there with their hands in the air".

Tampa Bay Buccaneers coach John McKay, when asked in 1983 about the execution of his then 0-14 team: "I'm in favor of it."

HOLIDAYS.

I believe we celebrated this one last year, but June 13 is the "Queen's Birthday" - I believe she will be 147 years old, and Prince Charles (or "Chuck" as his friends would call him, if he had any) is a youthful 97, and STILL waiting his turn; June 21 is "Tall Girl Appreciation Day", which you must NOT confuse with "World Giraffe Day", also celebrated on June 21; the 27th is "Decide To Be Married Day", which you might get mixed up in if you're still celebrating "National Bourbon Day" (June 14); the 28th is "International Body Piercing Day", which reminds me of the YMCA locker room, where I saw guys with "earrings" pierced into body parts that were far, far removed from the ears; June is "International Surf Music Month", which we celebrated last year with a listen to the Chantays playing "Pipeline", a great recording - but, I admit, not everything in the 1960s was great - I give you the Surfaris and "Wipe Out. There seems to be a lot of alcohol celebrations in June: besides the aforementioned "National Bourbon Day", there are "National Bubbly Day" (the 6th), "National Rose' Day" (13th), "World Gin Day" (13th), "Lambrusco Day" (20th), not to forget "Bartenders Day" (18th), and maybe others I missed. Maybe in these hard times we need these days.

TRIVIA ANSWER.

This really makes sense. Gallaudet U, a school for the deaf, started using the huddle in 1892 to keep their opponents from seeing their sign language signals.

Click HERE to continue.