April 3, 2015 (March newsletter)

Looks like Spring has finally sprung. Birds are singing, trees are blooming, everybody's sneezing. What a great time of year.

In sports news, by which, of course, I mean NFL news, the big discussion is whether Jameis Winston will be the first pick in the draft and how long he will stay out of trouble. The draft isn't for another month, but it gets more coverage than a Presidential election. We also see that the Aaron Hernandez murder trial is going on. Gee, who would have thought a football player could be so violent.

Speaking of violence, the long-awaited (so they tell me) Mayweather-Pacquiao fight is coming up next month. For only $99 (Pay-per-view) you to can watch this thrilling event. Speaking of two people trying to kill each other, I somehow missed commenting last month on the Ronda Rousey v. "Cat" Zingano UFC (Unlimited Full Carnage) bout, won by Ronda in fourteen seconds. Hope the people who paid all that dough to watch that got their money's worth. I can't imagine what kind of culture it is that thinks watching two women try to kill each other is entertainment. Just my opinion.

On a lighter note, the Chicago Cubs are going to send prospect third-baseman Kris Bryant down to the minors even though he's had a scorching spring training. The move is for financial reasons, due to some typically convoluted MLB rules, but it's not appreciated by Cubs fans. Anyway, let's get on with baseball! In the sucker-born-every-minute category, at the March show I bought some old Topps BB sets from our pal Ken. I guess this is appropriate revenge for my occasional jabs at Soccer. At any rate, I will NOT comment on Soccer this month.

May 1, 2015 (April newsletter)

Last time I was all excited about Spring. But Spring can bite you, too. Today it's 59 degrees and raining. Not a pretty day. Hey, what's that sound? Oh, it's the grass growing. My wife was remarking (!) how our grass was looking. I'm at the point in my life when mowing our yard is sort of beyond me now, so I hire somebody to do it. As I told her, if I don't have to do it, what do I care how tall it is!

Let me see: what's the news in sports? Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods is scheduled to play at the Greenbrier Classic. Will he show? Will he not? Will he play well? Okay, I don't care, either.

The big fight is tomorrow. No, I'm not talking about me and my wife. I'm talking about Floyd "Floyd" Mayweather, multiply-convicted domestic abuser, vs Emmanuel "Manny" Pacquiao, the pride of the Phillipines who has not, so far as I know, domestically-abused anybody. Apparently this fight has been so long in coming that both men will be using walkers in the ring. Who will win? Okay, I don't care here, either.

The Kentucky Derby is also tomorrow. The race is sometimes called "the run for the roses". It's also sometimes called "the most exciting two minutes in sports", usually by those who have never seen a football game or the basketball final four or even a baseball game or even a soccer game. There's sometimes controversy over whether racehorses are athletes. In my opinion, if you can't give a post-event interview, then you're not an athlete.

The NFL draft is finally started. I was on the edge of my seat to see if Winston would be the first pick. Well, not so much. It's hard to see how the Tampa Bay coaches will be able to diagram plays since I assume they'll be sitting around with their fingers crossed.

I'd like to be serious for a moment. Bob St Clair died a few days ago. This name may not be familiar to most of you, but he was an NFL Hall-of-Fame offensive tackle for the 49'ers. I've told this story to some of you, but in 2011 I got his auto at the Chantilly Show. When I got to the head of the line, HE stood up to shake hands with me. I got him to sign a '59 Topps card, and I remarked that he still had that curly hair. He laughed and said, just not as much of it, and we laughed. What a nice guy! I wish all signers could be half as nice. He was honestly not one of my favorite players (who has an offensive tackle as a favorite player), but in those days I knew who he was and how respected he was as a player.

Once again I will not say anything about soccer. (The pressure is building)

June 2, 2015 (May newsletter)

We've now entered the thunderstorm season. Again tonight there are flood warnings in the Roanoke area. Hope everybody's staying high and dry.

Lots of sports news to get to. The big news is the international soccer scandal. Apparently some players were deflating the ball in an effort to slow down the game...no, sorry, I'm being told that was actually an NFL scandal. The Boston Patriots are accused of cheating. Oh, well, move along - no news here. The soccer scandal actually involves some kind of financial tomfoolery - bribes, or something. It's surprising that international sports could actually have this kind of scandal. Simply shocking, I tell you! Shocking! Many of the FIFA wheels have actually been arrested. Their president or king or whatever, with the unlikely name of Seep Bladder, was re-elected then chose to resign. There's no word on which part of Argentina he's now in.

In other soccer news, I hear that they are changing the rules to require longer kicks at goal, in an effort to reduce the scoring...no, sorry again. I'm being told that this is another NFL story, where they are going to require longer point-after-touchdown kicks. This will change the boring 99% PAT into a vastly less boring 93%.

The NBA finals begin in two days: Lebron vs Steph. Actually this interests me a little bit. Maybe even enough to watch some of it.

Also, the NHL finals are going on, I think. Yeah, I don't care, either.

In baseball news, Alex "The Centaur" Rodriguez is about to pass Barry "Great Big Old Head" Bonds on the all-time RBI list. If that's not a sentence that makes you sick, then you're stronger than I am. Also, Stephen Strasburg is back on the DL. Very glad I didn't buy that $15K refractor a few years ago.

July 6, 2015 (June newsletter)

Hope everyone had a wonderful safe holiday weekend - good food, friends and family, and, of course, fireworks! The Fourth is always a good day to remember that this IS a great country, and even though we may see many things differently, we all still love this country.

Naturally, the big sports news is the U.S. women's soccer team winning the World Cup. Total sarcasm-free congratulations from me to them! I'd like to report that I watched the whole game Sunday, but that would, of course, be a complete lie. I'm sure, however, that a splendid time was had by all. Perhaps we can disguise the women and have them play instead of the men at the next men's World Cup. Although that would take some serious disguising.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. won the Nascar race at Daytona which was rain-delayed until late in the night. The race ending was marred by a horrendous crash in which young Austin Dillon's car flipped and crashed into the retaining fence. Dillon walked away from the wreck, but several spectators were injured - none apparently seriously. You may sit in the front rows at one of these races if you like, but I would be up in the back somewhere.

Stop me if you've heard this before, but Serena Williams is cruising through the "Wimbledon" tennis championship. Yeah, I don't care, either.

In other excruciatingly boring sports to watch, some sort of golf tournament was played up in West Virginia this weekend. Somebody I've probably never heard of won, no doubt, but the big news as always was Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods. The sports page of the Sunday Roanoke Times featured a 3-column half-page photo of "Tiger" with the headline "Woods fires dud". (It was somehow NOT followed by "LOL".) It goes on to describe how badly he played. Good for him getting top billing even when he's terrible. I don't believe the Times noted his reported new girlfriend who is apparently the wife of another golfer. Quite a guy, that "Tiger".

Also, Stephen Strasburg is back on the DL. Again.

August 5, 2015 (July newsletter)

Hi, everybody! Hope you're all enjoying the summer, especially the balmy weather we've had the last few days. Of course, school starts up again very shortly - good news for some, not so good for others.

Let's see what news we can find in the world of sports. Well, of course, the suspension for four games of Tom Brady - he of the deflated balls - has been upheld. That was a surprise. I fully expected Executioner Goodell to reverse the decision of Judge Goodell. Anyway, it all goes to court now.

The NFL starts up in thirty-six days as I write this, I think. Lots of new faces as well as old faces in new places. And perhaps it's the last chance for some well-hyped players such as Robert Griffin (the third, if you're counting) and Johnny "Football" Football.

In the world of professional wrestling, which qualifies to some degree as a sport - in much the same way that "The Real Housewives of Orange County" counts as a sport - "Rowdy" Roddy Piper played the bagpipes for the last time in this world. I'm not a pro wrestling fan - I'd probably rather watch a Lawrence Welk festival than watch pro wrestling - but Piper's was a name that even I knew, so I guess he was a big deal in that world.

Ronda Rousey defended her MMA title against somebody in like 39 seconds or something. Here again, I don't care about that, but have you seen her in the SI swimsuit issue?

The British Open concluded after we last spoke. It was played apparently in the midst of a hurricane. Some chump I never heard of won it. Of course, the big international news was that Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods did not make the "cut" and won, I believe, no money. How very sad.

Finally, ESPN is sending the second team pregame show to the Va Tech-OSU game next month. Too bad Corso won't be there, just in case there's a thunder storm. Tech will also be selling beer and wine but only to the high-rollers in the expensive boxes. You ordinary peons will have to do like you've always done and load up in the parking lot before and after the game.

September 4, 2015 (August 2015 newsletter)

Hello again, everybody! It's already September, and Fall is officially just a few days away. Hope everybody has had a terrific summer. I know I have, for many reasons - which I won't bore you with here!

Let's see what's new and exciting in the world of sports. Oh yeah, football is starting up. Guess there might soon be news from the actual playing fields as opposed to the courtroom. Of course you know Tom Brady had his suspension overturned by a judge - yet another defeat for King Roger.

And more upheaval from the Washington football team. Looks like Robert Griffin's (the third, I believe) days may be numbered in D.C. Opinion is divided on whether he's been a gigantic bust or just a colossal failure. Maybe he can go to some other team and even yet be a mediocre quarterback. Funny, now that I think of it, I haven't seen any tv ads from him lately.

Speaking of first-round QB draftee flops, I'm told that Tim Tebow is given some chance to make the Eagles 53-man roster, thereby taking his place in the Eagles' group of QBs who have all failed in other places.

In baseball news, Bryce Harper is having a super year for the Nits, I mean Nats (no, I mean Nits). This makes me like him and them even more than ever, which is not at all. Never thought I'd say this, but "Go Mets!".

On a slightly more serious note, many of you may have read the Al Stump biography of Ty Cobb or seen the Tommy Lee Jones movie, and you doubtless have the image of Cobb as a deranged racist, psychotic monster. I did. But I recently read "Ty Cobb, A Terrible Beauty" by Charles Leerhsen, which presents a much more restrained portrait of The Georgia Peach. Without completely glossing over Cobb's flaws, he makes the case that much of Stump's work was either blown out of proportion or completely false and made up. I recommend this book if you're interested in early baseball in general or Cobb in particular.

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