Cats, guitars, baseball cards -
February 3rd, 2018 (January 2018 newsletter)
Okay, we're well into 2018 now, and winter is not letting go. Here at Chez Quinn this morning we've had snow, followed by sleet, followed by rain, and the temperature is hovering at 29 as I write this. I can only imagine what driving is like on back streets and roads like ours. If you're in the area and you absolutely MUST go out, please be careful. We want you back at the next show. This week the robins are trekking northwards through our yard - seems like they guessed wrong.
Alright, keeping you up on the latest (and not so latest) sports news. Belated congrats to former UVa football coach Mike London. His Howard University "Bisons" team finished 7-4 this past season and 6-2 in their conference, whatever that is. I ALWAYS had faith that Mike could be a really GREAT coach if only he could land with a team that had any semblance of football talent.
In other football news, that big game is today.Of course, as is the case every year, I'm talking about the "Puppy Bowl" on the Animal Planet channel. What fun for doggy lovers and even for those of us who are not real big dog fans. Of course, there is also the so-called "Super Bowl", which will be fun for the .00001% of the people who are Patriot fans but not so much for the other .99999% of us who are not. My wife will be watching strictly for the commercials. I'll continue my many-year tradition of not watching at all. This obviously means I won't get to see Justin Timberlake (aaaawwwwww!) even if he removes the clothing of every backup singer. (I'd really prefer the frisbee-catching dogs.) I'll also miss the National Anthem (probably) butchered by somebody or something called "Pink". Guess they couldn't get Rosanne Barr.
Much is made of James Harden's 60-point triple double game as being the first in NBA history. Of course, Wilt Chamberlain scored over 60 points in a game thirty-two times in his career (second-most: Kobe with FIVE!). He also averaged 22+ rebounds per game. And in his day the NBA did not record blocked shots. Is it not likely that somewhere in some of those 32 60-point games Wilt may have had 10 rebounds and 10 blocked shots? He also averaged 4+ assists/game. I admit to a little prejudice here - I find James Harden to be one of the ugliest players in the NBA with that ridiculous beard. Okay, a LOT of prejudice.
The Winter Olympics are coming up next week, slipping and sliding their way onto your TV screens. I'm sure you're as happy as I am that most of the Russians are being allowed by the IOC to compete in spite of their massive doping scandal from last time. Forgive and forget, I always say. Punishment is SO twentieth century. Featured, certainly, will be that sport that rivals golf, futbol and even badminton in excitement, thrills and heart-stopping action. I'm referring, of course, to curling: the sport that better than any other combines strategy, ice and brooms. What more could you ask for? There's also skiing, the favorite sport of orthopedists everywhere. No, they don't themselves ski; they just wait at the bottom of the run for the stretchers.
Here's this issue's trivia question, working the entertainment AND sports worlds:
Since 1975, three sports movies have won the Academy Award for the Best Picture. Name those three movies.
In unusual sports we may have overlooked - as regular readers here know I'm second to no one in my love of soccer (or "futbol"). But I think most sports can be improved. The Indonesians reportedly play a game called "Fireball Soccer", where the "ball" is a coconut soaked in kerosene and set on fire. Who wouldn't LOVE to see the "World Cup" played on fire? I know I would! Click here for a brief sample.
Then there's "goose pulling", where the contestant gallops on horseback up to a hanging goose and tries rip its head off. Sort of like the UFC, except that the goose can't fight back.They used to play this sport with live goosies, but those namby-pamby animal rights people complained. So these days they use a dead goose - makes the "sport" easier but lacks much of the excitement.
Watch here for future reports on other fun-filled sports of the world.
Speaking of action sports, Major League Baseball is about to start up. Spring training begins in a couple of weeks. MLB commissioner Rob "Mighty" Manfred is looking for ways to speed up average game time from 2017's 3:08/game to, oh, let's say, 2:55/game. I can see all of you out there are wet with excitement and saying, yeah, that thirteen minutes will make all the difference for me!
In MMA action, fighter Timothy Woods lost by a knockout. Unfortunately, he accidentally knocked HIMSELF out. I won't post video, but here's wishing more of these guys would try this.
I've been remiss lately in keeping you up-to-date on holidays you might be missing. "Dump Your Significant Jerk Week" is February 3-9 - a good time to do that because it will save you on Valentine's Day cards and gifts. I've discussed Valentine's Day in previous years, so no need to go over that again. If you didn't learn before, then I can't help you now. February 3rd was, sadly, "The Day The Music Died". Those of you of a certain age will need no explanation. For those who are tired of the ordinary dog or cat, February 15th is National Hippo Day. I'm sure they make great pets, but, man, the size of the litter box!
Trivia answer:
The three sports movies to win the Best Picture Oscar since 1975 are:
March 3rd, 2018 (February 2018 newsletter)
February teased us in this area with a few really nice days but is making up for it now - horrendous winds, flooding in many areas, a deadly "noreaster". Hope all of you came through these adventures without harm.
Okay, now that we're finally through with football - okay, I know we're NEVER through with football. There's the NFL "scouting combine", which is of great interest to 32 general managers, ESPN and basically nobody else; the NFL draft, which is of interest to Todd McShay and a few dozen other nerds; and what's going to happen to Kirk Cousins, which is of interest to, well, Kirk Cousins. But I must apologize to Eagles fans, because I thought there was no way the New England (formerly Boston) Patriots would lose that "Super Bowl". I'm glad Philadelphia won, although I could easily think of 30 or so other teams I'd rather have seen win (all except Dallas, of course).
In other NFL news, Jerry Jones is being required to reimburse the league a couple of million or so for legal expenses in the Zeke Elliott case. Just DON'T call it a FINE! And, haha, as many players have had to do, Jerry gets to plead his case to Commissioner Goodell, who happens to be the same guy who levied the fine, NO, I mean, the reimbursement. Judge! Jury! Executioner! Haha! It's good to be Roger!
Major League Baseball is very close to starting up the 2018 season. Thanks to new rules in place for 2018 to speed up the games, you'd better not tune in late to the broadcasts. In fact, some games might be over before they even start, they'll go so fast. This will make MLB more appealing to the "young" folks, who don't watch baseball because they have the attention span of chipmunks on speed. There is, by the way, a report (you heard it here first) that the American League pennant will just be awarded now to the Yankees to avoid all that unnecessary wear and tear of actually playing the games.
NCAA basketball is getting close to tournament time, and, in fact, some have already started. Soon it will be "March Madness", that happy time when many Americans join together to see how much money they can send to Las Vegas bookies. The University of Lousiville, who are, I believe, the Cornish Hens or some such bird, had to forfeit their 2013 championship because of that little matter of somebody bringing in, uh, "dates" for the players. Boy, back in my early days at VT there was none of this sort of thing. The jocks had to go over to Radford to get their women, just like the rest of us did!
Here's this month's trivia question - it's an easy one.
The game of basketball was invented or created in 1891 by whom? I learned this in Junior High phys ed class - of course, that was only a few years after 1891. Hint: it's NOT Dick Vitale, although he WAS on the first team.
So you won't miss out on any big doings this month, here's our holiday list for March. Of course, there's "Texas Cowboy Poetry Week". I'll start:
Trivia answer: Dr James Naismith created the game of basketball.
April 9th, 2018 (March 2018 newsletter)
My goodness, will Spring NEVER get here? We had snow here yesterday, although it didn't amount to anything in our neighborhood. Glad it held off until after the weekend for those of you that were in Chantilly. I'd like to blame the weather for being so late with this letter, but I'm sure you all recognize fake news when you see it.
Well, let's see what's happened in sports since we last talked. The "Final Four" ended with Villanova taking the title. As Dan Le Batard said, most people watch "March Madness" not to root FOR any particular team, but to hope for two other things: Duke losing and Kentucky losing. Not being from Virginia, he neglected to mention seeing UVa lose. Thankfully, all of things happened, some earlier than others (haha!). Also losing in the final eight was Loyola of Chicago (not to be confused with Loyola Maryount, Loyola of New Orleans, Loyola Maryland, Loyola of Mayberry, Loyola of Hooterville, and several dozen others). Their top player apparently was a 139 year-old woman, although I never actually saw her play. She became quite a fan favorite, although I thought the seat she was sitting in had more personality. See you back again in another 55 years, L of C.
The "Masters" golf tournament ended this past weekend with a victory for somebody whose name escapes me (you can look it up if you're really dying to know). The "Masters" bills itself as a "Tradition Unlike Any Other" - not better, just different. Exciting to see that Eldrick Tont "Tiger" Woods finished tied for 32nd, some sixteen strokes behind the winner. Here's hoping "Tiger" can have the same success in all his upcoming tournaments.
One of my devoted newsletter followers has requested that I back off soccer (aka "futbol") and instead devote some time to wrestling (or "rasslin'"). I generally only talk about real sports, such as football, golf (haha!), or wife carrying. So that kind of leaves out rasslin'. I'd like to poke some fun at them, but just looking at their pictures kind of scares me. And that's just the women! Related to rasslin', in the sense that it's people doing their best to wreck other people, though unrelated in the sense that it appears to be real, is UFC (Usually Fatal Conflict). A star there, Conor McGregor, went on a rampage (inquiring minds want to know: were 'roids involved?) and destroyed a barricade, a bus and several innocent bystanders. When pressed for a reason, Conor said "I didn't like their looks", apparently referring to the barricade and the bus.
In my research on unusual sports, I find "Haggis Hurling", which is a Scottish game the object of which is to throw the haggis for distance and accuracy. If you know what a haggis is, then you may agree with me that throwing it as far away from you as you can is a great idea. As discussed in an earlier newsletter, the British in sports have only soccer and cricket (plus once-a-year tennis and golf tournaments) to amuse them, so they develop lots of other different sports. Discussed earlier was "cheese rolling". I find they also have a similar "sport": orange rolling, where they roll and chase (guess what!) an orange down a hill.
Here's this month's trivia question.
We all know that Don Larsen pitched the only perfect game ever in the World Series (and one of only a couple dozen or so in the history of MLB). That was in the Series in 1956 against the Brooklyn Dodgers (that's right, youngsters - they were in Brooklyn then). But can you name the opposing pitcher, who also pitched the complete game? What about the final score - hint, it was something to zero?
For my holiday reporting, I'm a little late to talk about that day which is very important to people of many faiths and which happened on April 1st. I'm referring, of course, to April Fool's Day. Personally, I went around all day with my shoes intentionally untied so I wouldn't fall for that one. This month is also "International Twit Award Month" - feel free to send in your nominations, although if you mention me, you'll be deleted from this newsletter. Also coming up on the 13th (a Friday) is "National Blame Someone Else Day" - don't know why this isn't celebrated EVERY day.
The 23rd is "Talk Like Shakespeare Day" - although in this time of the internet, actual talking is not so important. FORSOOTH! EXEUNT! On a related note, April is "National Card and Letter Writing Month" - for you millenials, a "card" or "letter" is a piece of "paper" on which you write actual "words", using a "pen" filled with "ink", and which you then send to a friend or loved one via the "post office". I know that none of that makes sense to you, but it's what we did back in earlier centuries.
Trivia answer:
The opposing pitcher was Sal Maglie. His nickname was "The Barber" because he liked to give opposing batters a "close shave" with his fastball. The score was 2-0. A sad note about this game: Larsen is reportedly the only player for either team in this game who is still alive. I believe that should have been reported as "who actually PLAYED in the game".
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